Super Santiago, A Second Player Parody
by FanfictionObscenist
Summary: A parody about Dom, Marcus, Cole, and Baird and the rest revolving around Dom getting exposed to Emulsion during Act 3. This is why the co-op is so awesome.


Super Santiago

**Super Santiago**

Chapter 1: The Same...Corpser!

Blood-curdling cries ran around the hallowed caverns the Locusts occupied as a base, the sulfur-like fumes spewed from every corner imaginable, showering the COG soldiers who were retreating back as their most recent obstacle, a fully-grown Corpser that they'd battled on-foot with no better than a couple of Lancers and a Locust "Longshot" snapped up from supply crates a few cliff ends back, tumbled desperately backward into the hot emulsion. The forelegs it used for climbing screeched against the crowd, drawing towards Marcus at a maddening rate.

"Marcus, watch out!" cried Dominic Santiago, his cover and point-man as well as best friend. As Dom prepared to charge into Hell and back to rescue Marcus from the infernal Corpser, it was apparent that Command had chosen the right Sergeant for the job as the new Captain of Delta Squad, as Marcus carefully whipped around the tentacle with a quick and decisive combat roll. Like a bat racing out of a cave, the tentacle SWOOSHED right past him, finally releasing the corpser to it's fate and splashing into the hot liquid.

"Seriously Dom, I'm not gonna die today." Marcus replied bitterly, unlike Baird and Cole who were chuckling to themselves on the other side of that very large chasm, no less disturbed by their leader's almost certain doom, (had he not been smart enough to FORCE THE LEFT ANALONG STICK TO THE LEFT AND TAP A LIKE A SMART PERSON) it was the quality of both a good soldier and a cold-hearted mercenary.

"Move it Delta, onto the factory, up those stones!"

"Alright man." said Dom, not bothering to wait for Cole or Baird who quickly scaled the cliff end.

"RWAR-SWARNSHRR!!!!"

The sound of the mighty roar rocked the cavern's roof and walls, breaking open geysers and quaking against stalagmites, the sticky, hot golden emulsion flustered in a stupefying feat, the entire body of the Corpser risen from it's acidic, liquid tomb. Dom whirled around, furiously stomping a fresh clip into his Lancer's receiver to no avail. It jammed with a vein-aching KRK, the Corpser's translucent body towered above him a petrifying shadow before crumpling, the soft stomach feet away from Dom as he crouched to avoid the incoming legs. His guess was wrong, and he could feel the rickety surface of it's skin collide with his leg, every muscle screamed and tried to detach itself as the leg dragged him away.

"DOM!"

"HOLY SHIT MAN!"

Those words grew distant rather quickly, as he lost control of himself, the Corpser's nightmarish howl pulling him further and further towards Death, yellow lightning spreading over him to fruitless targets. Marcus's surprised expression gave him a final grin ashis body smashed against something hard, Emulsion, and his vision blurred yellowish orange....until there was nothing but a calming feeling, resonating inside of him.

"_Maria_...." he whispered, evenly shocked to see that he still had "skin" and that he could talk underwater normally.

Suddenly, a surge of power ran through him and his eyes burned a crisp yellow. Dominique Santiago was NOT going to die here, no, he wouldn't allow it. He couldn't fight past the need to rescue his wife, the very thought of her flashed him like a thousand bullets straight to the chest, or rather, over 10,000 crates worth of skin-melting liquid. He squeezed the trigger, only to see that his assault rifle had melted upon contact with the Emulsion, and swiftly resorted to kicking his legs with all the energy he could muster. A few dolphin charges upward, into the shaded image of two familiar faces, and he could taste the dry, putrid air once more, all the more better than breathing in the sickening emulsion.

Marcus's face did a 360' turn, his eyes jumped from immense fear and aggravation to pure awe as the body of his friend leapt, very much alive, out of the Emulsion, over him and Baird, and landed, feet-first, in front of Cole, who nearly tripped over as Dom's landing cracked the floor. Yellow dots splashed from his legs, he shook wildly and brushed his eyes of the yellow goo. He checked his ears last and gave Marcus and Baird an intimidating stare before smiling, "Hi guys, what'd I miss?"

"Dom, dude...what the hell happened to you!?" Baird had this scared, fearful draw to his usually white, irritated gaunt. Dom widened his grin, spooning his ears of the now white-hot, cooled residue, "You're freaking LAMBENT."

Indeed, as Dom examined his arms, the skin on them was now tinted yellow with big, orange streaks running down in place of veins and arteries, his face was faint, almost alive with a bright greenish yellow color. His armor, however, had not come off so lucky, as it was burned in certain places and melted on others, with sections of the torso and most of his arm waxed away into long, gray scars across his arms.

"Like my new look?"

"Maria'd be proud," the bewildered Sergeant commented, sarcastic as ever, "C'mon Delta, we've got to get the Resonator and that targe-"

"What targeting data?" Dom said, helping Cole up by extending his pinky to him and lifting him up by the hand.

"The thing we've been carrying AROUND for the past week or two-!" Marcus sighed, "Are you SURE you're alright Dom?"

"Yeah...I'm fine." he said, unsurely.

Suddenly, Dom sneezed, knocking everybody off-balance as the cavern shook violently. The ruptures in the floor thickened, almost "reforming" with some sort of spongey, molten material. The twistedly wretched cries of Wretchs alerted them to another platoon of Locust, a salad of grubs and Therons, just arrived from the Gears untimely digression. Cole panicked, realizing that his back felt way lighter than it should have been and turning around to see that the Resonator was bathed in imlusion, rolling away and gradually melting.

"Ah, hell no! The Resonator-gah!" he cursed, almost about to dive into the liquid before gunshots rang past his skull.

"Cole, get your ass back here!"

"But th-!"

"NOW!!!!"

The Gears retreated, exchanging bullets with the chasing Locusts, strong together but nonetheless outnumbered. Marcus was the farthest behind, picking off Theron Guards attempting to snipe them from afar with their Orcish weapons. Dom slammed against a barricade of stone to offer support fire, he gasped as he witnessed Marcus's collapse, stunned by a sudden explosion from one of the Torque Bows and his arm blasted apart from Locust fire. He wasn't crying, even with an arm of blood quickly rushing out of him, and still had his rifle clutched in his hands as he stumbled, finally dropping, with weapon pressed against his chest.

"Son of a bi....Noo..." Marcus murmured, unloading what remained of the clip as two Grubs crouched near him.

Dom leapt from his cover, batting away bullets in a mad haze. As soon as he as near the Grub, he round-house kicked him, the section where his foot gained the most dominance completely blown off by the force of his kick. The other Grub watched haplessly as it's comrade's upper half went flying into another rock, splattering with a disgusting _KRSHLRASH_!. He turned, only to see that the very lambent-looking, apparently super powered Dominic Santiago, armed with the now dead Grub's left arm, chuck it at him, all five fingers stabbed into his chest and went out from the other side. He tried to breath but the air only teased him, bouncing off the chunks of the dismembered arm. From behind, as the Grub fainted and died, all five fingers clutched his still beating heart, most of its cords ripped away.

"FUCK YEAH!" Dom pumped his fist.

Marcus gazed at him, obviously unimpressed but still scared by his teammate's awesome power.

"Jesus." he said curtly.


End file.
